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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow – The Art of Presentation by TV Antique Show Valuers and Appraisers
Obviously, many shows are driven by the personality of the presenter even though they often reflect a triumph of style over substance. This, arguably, rules out Dickinson, who dominates the screen, demonstrating boundless enthusiasm and opinion on almost everything. He’s a bit reminiscent of the eponymous Lovejoy, that mischievous, caring but charming dealer played so successfully by Ian McShane in the BBC series, but his piece de resistance surely has to be his hair. Whatever authority he may exude when examining a Victorian tortoiseshell box or a chipped Minton plate, one cannot help but be drawn to his dizzying mullet, a tuft of hair so dense it could comfortably accommodate a birds nest. I think he could probably make a decent living as an Elvis impersonator, such is his showmanship, but that stands in stark contrast to another member of the bouffant brigade, former The Antiques Roadshow host Hugh Scully, who looked like he took a dose of mogadon every time he stepped in front of the camera.
Then again, the experts at The Antiques Roadshow usually come off as a pretty uninspiring crowd. Some of them are well qualified in their specialized subjects and indeed are often a source of knowledge, but I have seen more verve from a blind man crossing a busy two-lane road. They come from near and far, many representing high-profile auctioneers, but their delivery and mode of interrogation are so entirely predictable that this show has got to have the most well-worn autocue in television history. Is it a complete coincidence that The Antiques Roadshow is scheduled alongside fellow BBC stalwart Songs of Praise, a program that appears to be populated by the exact same audience, despite the host being in a robe? Maybe they’re all seeking salvation for horrible misjudgments or inflated expectations.
However, some experts are particularly knowledgeable. For example, James Braxton from Edgar Horn or Roy Butler from Wallis and Wallis should appear on your screen talking about Tunbridgeware and guns respectively, please pay attention. These guys know what they’re talking about. The problem is that the producers seem determined to incorporate all sorts of trash into their desire to be egalitarian and inclusive and fail miserably in the process. It would frankly be much better television if the appointed expert took a look at a given item, thanked the owner profusely for transporting it on land and sea, and then recommended it as firewood. Why didn’t The Antiques Roadshow create a Christmas special of all these absolute disasters caused by deeply serious, deeply greedy and deeply ignorant people? Aren’t you secretly waiting for a sarcastic reviewer to ask you “You really dragged this shit here thinking it was worth something? What are you using for brains? Stop wasting my time! ” Is anyone home at Broadcasting House? And is anyone listening?
Part two of Howard Lewis’ series of articles.
(Read Part One…The Price Is Right: Valuation, Valuation, and Inspirational Riddles or The Rise of Antique TV Shows and the Collecting Bug in the Invaluable Blog at http://www.invaluable.com).
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