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If I Use Reverse Psychology On My Boyfriend, Will He Want To Marry Me?
I sometimes hear of people who have tried the “traditional way” of getting a man to commit. They try to blame him. They tell her how important marriage is to them. They give him ultimatums. Most of us know that these tactics just don’t work. And yet, we feel compelled to try them anyway. When our suspicions are confirmed and we’ve risked making things worse, it occurs to us that it might be a good idea to go against the grain so he doesn’t wait for the next tactic.
A good example of this is trying to use reverse psychology. The idea is to trick him into thinking you don’t want or think about the commitment so he’ll give it to you more easily.
Someone might say, “I truly believe I’m meant to be married to the man I’m seeing right now. I strongly believe that we’re meant to have a family together and grow old together. The problem is, he just doesn’t see not at the moment. He feels there is no real rush. His parents have been dating for over a decade and they are quite honest that they are only married for the kids. The guy i am dating actually broke up with his last girlfriend because she pressured him into getting married. He just got fed up. So I know I can’t use that tactic. But I think I could use reverse psychology. Does it ever work? And if so, how do you use it most effectively?”
To get the commitment you want, reverse psychology is attempted in different ways. The first example is that you pretty much allow him to chase you. The idea is that you act like he wants you more than you want. At the end of the process, the hope is that he is almost desperate that you show him some kind of committed affection because you have been distant. I find this one only works if a guy is crazy about you – and even then it will only work for a short time. Most people are tired of feeling rejected and playing these games. Plus, it seems like in this scenario, it’s really too late for that anyway. This couple had already been dating for a while and this man probably already knew that she was at least somewhat invested.
The second way people will try to use reverse psychology to get a commitment is that they will pretend that a commitment isn’t really important to them. They will act like they just want to date casually or like it’s the relationship that matters and not what ultimately happens to that relationship. These are the women who will often tell a man that she just wants to be with him and have fun and not worry about what shape the relationship takes.
Sometimes it works to bring a man into a relationship he would have been reluctant to enter into before. But, you can’t go all the way. Because once you start that, you have to keep acting like commitment isn’t that important to you – even if that’s the furthest thing from the truth. What if he is perfectly happy to continue in this casual way for a very long period of time?
The hope is always that after a while he will come to want to commit on his own, without you needing to pressure him. It’s always best to let a man want to commit without pressure. But not all men will. Some are perfectly happy to continue your “non-binding” relationship. This is the risk of reverse psychology.
There is nothing wrong with trying this. But you should know that he may not change his mind and want to continue with a more relaxed relationship. At this point, you will either have to continue on this path or admit that you have changed your mind and admit that a commitment has now become important to you.
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