It Nearly Wasn T Christmas Dvd latest 2023

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Paint Your Holiday the Way You Want It to Be

Shirley’s husband of 42 years died suddenly this spring of heart disease. Brittany’s husband has served in the US Army in Iraq for the past 9 months. It was supposed to be their first Christmas together, but he won’t be home. Martha is housebound and lives in an assisted living facility; his family is hundreds of miles away. Stuart’s son is dead; everyone asks how his wife is doing, but no one asks how he feels. Shelley recently divorced and is living with her mother again.

There is a myth that holiday grief only affects those who have lost a loved one. The truth is, holiday grief and anxiety affects many people, all of whom face different life-altering situations that challenge them to find a reason for the season. For everyone, the holiday celebrations will change; and they will no longer be what they were.

Perhaps you remember the paintings and covers of Saturday night post in the 50s and 60s? Norman Rockwell’s photos have always told a story. His images portrayed American life and values. People rush to newsstands to buy the prestigious magazine and marvel at the scenes it illustrates. His time with Job finished in 1963, but his masterpieces continued to tell the stories of life as before.

In our lives today, whether or not we grew up in the days of Norman Rockwell, we construct visual images worthy of the Norman Rockwell collection of holiday paintings. In our minds, we remember the “ideal” holiday event and the positive emotions surrounding it. Rockwell’s holiday themes depict a lively and brave Santa Claus full of surprises; kids frolicking and perfect families enjoying typical family gatherings; celebration meal; build snowmen; and chase the postman. Everything in his photos is perfect. Rockwell once said, “I paint life as I would like it to be.”

We are influenced by the great images of artists such as Rockwell. If only life could always be “how we want it to be”. Unfortunately, the realities of life are sometimes harsh. We try to avoid them by misinterpreting truths and creating a mythical feeling of euphoria. We struggle with mourning the grief of the holidays and give in to the myths that complicate our already clouded view of the holidays to come. Grieving and holidays are loaded with many myths.

What is a myth?

A myth is a story or something that is not true and can be passed down from generation to generation, like a legend. It is often a story or a fabricated fact that cannot be validated. A myth, however, is something very easy to believe.because we want to believe it.

Grieving the loss makes us vulnerable to many myths. Things are not always what they seem. Our beliefs and attitudes are very powerful forces in our lives. We have a perception of what vacations should be based on past vacations and “ideal” vacations. Often our perception of vacations can be a myth. We believe everything has to be perfect or the holidays aren’t worth celebrating.

What kind of vacation do you imagine this year? Is this a season filled with unhappiness, or can you step away from your grief and create a Norman Rockwell vacation in which everything is nearly perfect? Or, at least, a vacation that is the best possible.

It is possible to change the myths and create new realities that will see you through the season with grace and common sense, under your control. Here are some ideas on how to expose these myths and replace them with a new reality.

Myth: Holiday mourning begins around Christmas Eve and ends just after New Year’s Day or when the decorations fall.

Truth: Holidays may start earlier for some people. In fact, the holidays can start as early as Halloween. Around our house, the holidays started just before deer hunting season. Typically, we experienced the first snow and the men began to celebrate the “spirit” of deer hunting while the women began to create the “spirit of the season” by shopping. It was the tradition.

After the death of our son, Chad, the tradition lost its luster. The harsh reality was that the hunt wasn’t as exciting as it used to be, and Chad wasn’t going. Friends gave us a DVD of Chad from one of his last cabin hunting trips. It had been 14 years since his death. The DVD lay on our table, because we were both so scared to see its image and experience the raw loss again. Finally we played the DVD and with tears of joy (and sadness) we witnessed the spirit of our beautiful son who loved to clown, dance and hang out with the guys. It was a “good” cry.

Vacations always start around hunting season for us, but it’s not about hunting anymore. Gary has given up hunting, but I haven’t given up shopping. The focus was not on Christmas and gifts, but rather on organizing a community bereavement program over the holidays and nurturing ongoing relationships with family and friends.

So how do you dispel the myth and create a manageable vacation? Plan a time frame for your holiday season…whether it’s a week, a few days, or however long you think “hard” times will be. Create a signal for yourself that tells you when that time period is over. For us, the queue is picking up the Christmas tree. It’s our sign of relief that the holidays are over and we can get back to the routine.

Be prepared for awkward moments and thoughtless questions and remarks. You will have them. In your mind, figure out how you will respond and stick to your repeated responses. Plan an escape. If you are in a “captured” environment, drive your own car. Or have an excuse when you want to leave. You determine when.

I could imagine Norman Rockwell illustrating this scene in today’s world. I see a “getaway” car conveniently parked at the curb with the engine running when Uncle Jack pats you on the back and says, “You’re strong. Keep a stiff upper lip.”

Myth: At gatherings, it is inappropriate to mention the fond memories of our loved one who has passed away. It makes others uncomfortable.

Truth: The holidays are a time for reflection. Remembering our loved one is essential to our good health and healing. Stories and memories will accompany us all our lives and are the only real source of pleasure.

Create a safe environment and remember aloud. Say his name and laugh at the rich stories of life. Shed a tear and follow up by saying silently, “I still love you. Teach others that love lasts forever; which you need to remember; and it is your reality to deal with grief.

I could imagine Norman Rockwell illustrating today’s scene. The family can be brought together around a loosely bound, well-illustrated collection using the hottest skills in scrapbooking. It is an endless volume of images that tell a life story through stamping techniques, assorted memories, anecdotes and a written interpretation of a particular event or day. A keepsake candle burns softly on the same table. Family and friends of all ages share the experience with a variety of expressions: smiles, tears, laughter, pointing fingers and hugs.

Myth: Traditions are something you do year after year, and they are not meant to be changed.

Truth: Just because we’ve always done it this way doesn’t mean we can’t infuse our celebration with new ideas that fit this generation of life and the present moment.

Every family goes through lifestyle changes and these changes affect how traditions continue or are interrupted. The kids move out and go to college. The parents become “empty nesters” and “snowbirds”. Teenagers want to spend more time with their friends than with their loved ones during the holidays. Elderly parents don’t want to cook; thus, they can opt for a dinner outside.

At some point, we seem to outgrow traditions like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Maybe a death in the family is one of those times that means “let’s try something new.”

So how do you dispel this myth and create a manageable vacation? To be open minded. Reflect on past changes in other families as well as your own. If traditions bring unhappy memories, change them. Don’t be a puppet and let others tell you how to spend your day. There are no set rules. Create a family contest to see who can come up with the best “new” tradition. It’s admirable to be proud of traditions that work.

I can imagine Norman Rockwell illustrating this scene today with a Christmas tree lit up with red, blue, orange and hot pink LED lights and grandma and grandpa engaged in a rousing game of WII bowling on the plasma television at big screen. (I bet they beat the grandkids!)

Myth: When the second holiday season arrives, I will be over my grief and I can go back to old traditions.

Truth: The second vacation can seem as sad as the first. And for many, going back to past holiday traditions is no longer desirable.

The second holiday season for us has not been as easy as I initially thought. But because we changed traditions during the first holiday season, it was easier to accept that the change was good, and we wanted it to happen again.

Remember that grieving is a process that requires a different healing time for each of us. Don’t rush the process. If the second vacation is still a little painful, you can try the third one and in the meantime, work on breaking down the barriers between peace and the past. The holidays will always lack some of the treasured moments of years past, but that doesn’t mean the holidays can’t be good.

A real positive influence for dissolving holiday grief is to “give it to someone else.” Giving – it’s not gifts, but time and yourself. There are so many people with needs in every community. Volunteer at charity events. Ring a bell for the Salvation Army. Choose a gift name from the gift tree. Do something for someone who “feels good”.

I can imagine Norman Rockwell illustrating this life change by sketching a bereaved mother and father serving meals in the large kitchen of a local shelter or gently comforting someone less fortunate with a loving hand on their shoulder. A church bell rings softly outside the window as delicate snowflakes filter through the lamppost. A shining star – the star of HOPE shines beautifully in the distance.

Hope is an attitude of the spirit and an energy for the soul. It challenges myths and creates new realities. Norman Rockwell’s illustrations in the present day could clearly be very different from what they were. Her gift would represent human values ​​that show a deep sensitivity to the pain of life. While it showed “life as I want it to be”, new illustrations could bear witness to the testimonies of triumph over grief – and life “as it is”. This year, be like Norman Rockwell, create a new canvas. Paint your vacation the way you want.

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